2008-01-26

Scientology Handbook

If you have any doubts about the wisdom of Scientology, the Scientology Handbook should help you make up your mind. Consider, for example, the chapter describing "assists" for illnesses and injuries. Apparently the way to help coma patients is to take their hands and press them against different objects, like pillows and bedspreads. You should talk to them while you're doing this - "I am going to assist you to recover. Feel that Tom Cruise action figure. Thank you." - because otherwise they might think you're a crazy person.

This has to be very, very black humor, though.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am not a scientologist but I have studied it. I see nothing humorous about the assist. It's sad that someone with no understanding of the subject is determined to put it down. If you were to read 'Dianetics, the modern science of mental health' you would come to understand the processes of thought. It has long been recognised that a persons favourite pop idol or whatever can help bring a person out of a coma. Do you find that humorous too?
And why does everyone have to talk about Tom Cruise when they mention Scientology? Should we talk about Madonna when mentioning Kabballah?
Or perhaps Peter Sutcliffe, the yorkshire ripper when talking about Catholics? If you were to study a little more than you criticise, you may come to understand scientology better, and who knows, you may even come to understand yourself.

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